| chill night. |
[03 Nov 2008|10:50pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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beatle, Thes - (album): Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band |
] |
its been a while. time to crash.
-isabel's awesome. (:
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| -=sighs=- |
[28 Oct 2005|08:44pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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no music. thinking of missedmemories. |
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Vermilion Part 2
She seemed dressed in all of me
Stretched across my shame
All the torment and the pain
Leaked through and covered me
I'd do anything to have her to myself
Just to have her for myself
Now I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do
When she makes me sad
She is everything to me
The unrequited dream
A song that no one sings
The unattainable
She's a myth that I have to believe in
All I need to make it real is one more reason
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do
When she makes me sad
But I won't let this build up inside of me
I catch in my throat
Choke
Torn into pieces
I won't - no
I don't wanna be this
But I won't let this build up inside of me
She isn't real
I can't make her real
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| blah... |
[28 Jun 2005|12:04am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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94.1wysp--METALLICA |
] |
ijust got in from work. iworked 3-10pm today. so did myWIFE. werk was cool for the most part. gaySTEVE was being aDICK to everyone today. wahtAfuuuuuckerrrr. aFter werk, meANDcaitlin were sitting in the crewroom with Ishea's little sister watching movies they rented at blockBUSTER. westayed til 11pm. iwalked caitlin home, then I went home. imhere now, laying in my bed with myLAPTOP and talking to myWIFE on the FONE. imOFF to bed now.. LATERALL.
p.s. i gots to go to the doctors tomorrow just for an annual physical at 10am and IDONOT feel like going!!!
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| wow E... |
[18 Jun 2005|08:29pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
] |
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music |
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slipknot-EVERYTHING ENDS |
] |
iworked today, and guess waht?! my GM (steve) game me Phillies tickets... considering the fact that almost everyone gottem and they're really cheap tickets, but i thought i'd be the last person he'd give them to. they're playing NEW YORK METS on WEDNESDAY. ihave work 12-6 that day and the game starts at 7:05 pm, hope i make it on time. anyways, im about to head over alberts and chill there and watch BATMAN once again, lol. later all.
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| ... |
[18 Jun 2005|12:23am] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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watchingBATMAN BEGINS |
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i miss updating in here... i just dont do it cause i dont think no one ever reads it.. well anyway.. I saw BATMAN tuesday night and it was EXCELLENT! words cant even explain how gooditwas! thursday was my firstday back at work and ialmost got fired for refusing to put on an apron. idisrespected the dickhead of a GM cause he wanted to be a dick and tell everyone to put their aprons on... come on he didn't have to be a dick, he only does it cause he thrives on power. he is my enemy, i hate him! everyone is scared of him. people make him walk all over him. one day, i will make my enemy fear what i dread so bad, he'll regret being a dick. so, anyways, i walked up to him saying i will not wear an apron.. we're going back and forth so itold the bitch if he wants to talk to me follow me to the back, and so he did. he's telling me its the dress code, bla bla bla, yeah i know theres a uniform policy, but the air just got barely fixed and its 75 degrees in there, before the air got fixed it was 80-92 degrees in there... so anyways its 75 degrees in there + we work around 600 degree grills and 600 degree vats... like WDF?! so anyways he usually sends people home when they argue with him, but he gave me the choice on either stay and wear the apron, or just leave, so i just put the apron on and bit my tongue because if the arguement went on a little longer, i would of hit him and he would of press charges cause hes a bitch! but anyways.. on a good note, i got a home theater surround sound system the other day and im watching BATMAN BEGINS on bootleg DVD and it sounds awesome. igots work tomorrow at 11am so ibetter get some sleep in. later on people.
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| ...and this to shall pass! |
[06 Jun 2005|12:46pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished AND sore |
] |
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music |
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none |
] |
well... its over... finally faced my fear and my tonsils are gone! iwas there since 6:30am this morning and they started prepping me at 7:10ish. right after they put the I.V. in me i was having an anxiety attack, ididnt know what to do, never had this shit done before.. iwas pail, shaking, everything was vibrant, i was scared that it was like drugs or whatever. well anyways.. i put on my gown, laid in the bed while they put the I.V. in me, they were taking my blood pressure, i was talking to a couple of nurses, and the anesthesiologist... he gave me some valium threw my I.V. then i was wheeled into the O.R. and there were abunch of nurses around with my surgeon, and anesthesiologist... the anesthesiologist was talking to me while he was puttin the shit in me to knock me out, and before i knew it was up again. iwas groggy and weak a little, but wasn't nauseated. i left the place at 10:00am!! wow, that took a short ass time! thank you everyone for your support, iloveyouall!!! now ijust have a sorethroat. It also feels like there's shit inthe back ofmy throat that everytime i swallow and it wont go down, but i think thats the scabs, lol. but yah... the throat is painful. there is also alot of mucous in my mouth and in the back of my throat. icant have iceCREAM until like day 3or4 because iceCREAM gives mucous... yah.. the one and only thing that iACTUALLY love icant have yet. myEFFINluck. anyways... again people, thank you all for hearing me out. :)
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| IM SO FUCKIN SCARED!!! |
[05 Jun 2005|09:39pm] |
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mood |
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 petrified |
] |
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music |
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a.new.level--PANTERA |
] |
MY SURGERY IS IN LESS THAN 9HOURS AND IAM SHAKING LIKE NO OTHER! JUST THE THOUGHT OF ME LAYING IN THE O.R. IN A SINGLE CHAIR AND THEY LAY ME BACK AND BEGIN TO PUT ME TO SLEEP. THAT THOUGT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IM IN THE DEATH PENALTY. I MEAN COME ON.. I KNOW ITS NOT LIKE THAT... BUT THINK ABOUT IT, THATS WAHTS GOING TO BE GOING ON IN MY HEAD THE WHOLE EFFIN TIME! OH WELL, THIS SHALL PASS IN TIME.
Thank you all for trying to sedate me and make me not worry, especially my LOVELY wife.
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| :'( |
[16 May 2005|12:58pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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Metallica - Fade To Black |
] |
i feel really really depressed right now and i dont know why.... theres something in the back of my head that is bothering me. i feel as if i need my girlfriend asap right now. this feeling just came out of no where. i usually never get like this and im a bit shaken up. :( i fuckin hate feeling like this!
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| IMMA LOOOOOSER |
[03 May 2005|03:13am] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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94.1 |
] |
IMMA LOOOOOSER! today is my VISUALBASICS final for computerclass. and guess waht?! iAIN'T going!
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[26 Apr 2005|12:19pm] |
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mood |
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 still HIGH ahahh |
] |
eff this.. im leavin now.. theres nothing todo... we went over thursdays final today in ENG. now i am done and i donot feel like waiting 2 hours for PCclass .. eff that shit!
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| imissmyGF |
[26 Apr 2005|11:02am] |
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mood |
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high (muahaha) LOL |
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music |
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myPod |
] |
here iam sitting in English class doing absolutely nothing! im about to leave and go home. lol... there is nothing to do... well... i kinda have to do a lot of things in PCclass, but I cangive two shits about that class cause ialready have a C- or something in it. but really...i donot feel like waiting inthis English class for 2 hours! uggghh.
on a better note im meeting caitlin today on oregon after school. we're gonna go back to my place and chill. she has dancing school tonight, so iguess ill pick her up.
well... its almost the end of APRIL and its getting closer and closer to my tonsil surgery. im scared shitless! i dont want anestesia. effthat! its so0o0o scary. lol. anyway... im outa here homies! peace.
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| Why, wahts the point...it'll just make matters worse?! |
[15 Apr 2005|02:13am] |
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mood |
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WHY?! :'( |
] |
| [ |
music |
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imnotOK--myCHEMICALroamnce |
] |
I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)
But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
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| UGHHH |
[14 Apr 2005|02:07pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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myPod |
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ijust got 3 things back from my comptuer teacher. two assignments and a quiz. igot a 90 on one assignment and an 83 on the other. NOW...on myquiz.....-=drums rolling=-.....IGOTA 52 HAHAHA. IM THE SHIT!! woohoo!
I'M NOT LIKE YOU - I JUST FUCK UP!
COME ON MOTHA FUCKERS, EVERYBODY HAS TO DIE!
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| iwas just thinking about my girlfriend and ILOVEHERSOOOMUCH! |
[08 Apr 2005|01:42am] |
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mood |
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imissmyGIRLFRIENDsomuch!!! |
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music |
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danielbeddingfield--IF YOU'RENOT THEONE |
] |
ILOVEYOUCAITLIN...SOOOMUCH!
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I dont want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms
ILOVEYOU BABY. THIS SONG ISFROM MYHEART!
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| UGHH |
[05 Apr 2005|02:15pm] |
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mood |
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apathetic |
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music |
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myPod |
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ijust reminded my fuckin PCprofessor that heforgot to handout todaystest! FUKC!! thereason why itold him about the test is because iwanted to take it assoonaspossible because itold him ihave a doctorsappt. which ireally donothaveone...ijust wanted tosay that so me can leave.LOLOL. ANDGUESSWAHT?! ithought it was 315, here itsonly 215 and iwanted toleave in 45min...now icant cause itold him ihave to leave at 4!!!! lolol... imeant to say 3!!! LOL imscrewed! talktoyouguysLATER!
p.s. ilovemyGF
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| YEAHMOTHERFUCKER!!wOOt!! |
[31 Mar 2005|03:13pm] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
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music |
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myPod - godsmack--WHATEVER |
] |
LOL. IMSOEFFINEXCITEDRIGHTNOW! ihanded in myculture paper today, and theprofessor said that thereis nothing wrong with my paper, no gramaticalerrors, everything fitsPERFECT, and is inORDER! iwas shittin my pants.LOL. shelooked atme with hereyesglowing, also saying, 'yourpaper isperfect, this is thekind of paper i'd like toread 4or5times. idontwanna giveit backtoyou yet cause iwannashow the otherprofessors, also you've done everything iasked in this paper, and the way you write, is phenomenal.'. DUDES!!! IWASSOHAPPY. IKICKEDASSTODAYINSCHOOL! LOL. imin PCclass right now, and ijust did assignments which were longasshit, and he just got done looking over them, and idid a great job on them though. however idid get my MIDTERM back from PCclass...idun even wanna go there, but improgressin. :)
onanother note, somethings bothering me, notsure waht it is yet.....hopefully itsnothing that ithink itis. :| IHOPENOT. IKILLANDDRINKTHEBLOOD! sorry...thatgot away from me at theend there. LATERONPEOPLE!
p.s. imissmyGF!
p.p.s. myculture paper wason NAZIculture. :)
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| blah |
[29 Mar 2005|02:05pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
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music |
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myPod |
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helloall.. iam in computerclass right now. ididnt go to myfirst class which was two ENGLISHclasses from 11-2. ijust came to computer class today from 2-430. afterclass, iguess iam still meetin caitlin at broadandsnyder. imgonna walk her tanning, then iguess we'll walk back tomyhouse. shehas dancing school tonight...iguess its the usual tonight... she goes todancingschool, and ipick her up, and ibecome intoxicated.... notwithbeer. lol. imjust in a MOOD..idont know waht itis. its a feeling of anger though, but not towards anyone iknow. idont know...itsweird. imwaiting for the fuckface PCprofessor to come. he's always like 10-15 mintues late for class...makingus think he won't be here, but he finally shows up. effin jerk-head. anyways... albert's surgery is today...ihope all as well for him. GOODLUCK AL! lol. FUCK!!!hereis the jerk professor.. LATER ON PEOPLE!
P.S. ilovecaitlin
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| BLAH |
[24 Mar 2005|02:11pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
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music |
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myPod |
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here iam sitting in computerclass once again. iwas really wishing forthe teacher notto be here today, but who did isee when iwas getting off the elevator? THE EFFIN PROFESSOR! IWASSOPISSED! he's probably going togive back our mid-terms tous and icant wait to see the bigfatF on my paper, cause I am over a 100% sure ifailed! ohwell.iwill make it up on the final, which iknow im going tofail that because inever took visualbasics before, but eff it. imissmygirlfriend. ihave work today from 5 - 10, caitlin has work from 2 - 9.5. after she gets out at 930, she is going home toget a shower, anddressed then come back to work to meetme. sheis sleeping over tonight. im somaddddd atmyself because iam slacking in computer class...but iam close to improving mygrade inENGLISH! ijust handed in a newspaperarticle essay thingy, and iknow ididnt do that well onit cause iwas concentrating on this majoressay that is due in a couple days. anyways...somethings are going well for me, and something areNOT!... and ihope they stay likethis!!! theGAYprofessor is about to come, soimoutahere! IHATESCHOOL!
P.S. iMISSmyGF!
P.P.S. my throat hurts again, and IAM sore from working out and lifting weights yesterday. imstarting to get backinto fullshape. atleast thatis one of my goals. myother is to pass thissemester, but idoubt that is happening..effDISsheet!
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| -=blowsbrainsout=- |
[22 Mar 2005|12:25pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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one--METALLICA |
] |
iam very depressed right now...ijust wanna get away. thereissome tention arousing inmy house between my parents. thatsnot the only problem. ijust rahter keep the other thing tomyself. the other thing maybe isn't such a bigdeal, but for some reason it bothers me, and icant control it...itsjust the way ifeel. maybe idont know howto just getrid ofit. icant help the way ifeel. to other people, ifthis happened to them, theyll probably just brushit off and noteven worryaboutit. me...on the other hand, ijust cant do that. icant help theway ifeel. imean if imfeelin like this, thereisa problem. iam feeling very apprehensive rightnow. ughh. ihate this feeling. ijust need someone to talk to. justto let it out. not right now...maybe a little later. imnot going to go into details on LJournal. :'( .
"Hold my breath as I wish for death, oh please god help me!"
-One, by Metallica
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| PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEHELP!!! |
[17 Mar 2005|12:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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pissed off |
] |
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music |
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FAKIN-MIDTERM! |
] |
MID-fucking-TERM time in computerclass! CANI GETA F, LEMME GETA A, LEMME GETA I, LEMME GETA L! IMSO GONNA FAIL!!! YESSS, ILOVEIT! FUCKTHISSHIT! IHATEMYSELF!
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